I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one.
 So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'.

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it
"Pumping Rust."

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

I used to have Saturday Night Fever ... now I just have Saturday Night hot flashes.

Ever get the feeling your stuff strutted off without you?

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I'm getting into swing dancing.
Not on purpose -- some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age.
But they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes.
Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down...It's too hard to get back UP!